Weekend at the Muggles

They wanna hear me chuckle
So I say, “Don’t make me laugh”
But they don’t get the picture
They just take my photograph
They think they’ve got my number
But they just can’t do the math
I wish they’d take it down the highway
They can’t even find the path

Something’s brewing in the kitchen
And the cook is getting jealous
She microwaving ziti while she watches “Goodfellas”
Her alcoholic daughter says,
“I wonder what that smell is”
As she nips out to the garden
For a nip behind the trellis

The next door neighbor’s garbage bag
Is blowin’ ‘cross the road
The sky is crazed with lightning
And the clouds will soon explode
The matriarch is gettin’ dizzy
Tryin’ to hang on to control
She’s flashin’ eyebrow signals like semaphore code

Adolescent boys are throwing
Kittens off a fence
Their sister’s cries for mercy
Are not makin’ any dents
There’s a toddler talkin’ gibberish
Softly but intense
She’s the only one around here
Who is making any sense

My tongue is getting’ itchy
And my feet are gettin’ loose
If I wasn’t feelin’ healthy
I’d be thinkin’ bout a noose
Gonna load the station wagon
While they’re carvin’ up the goose
Then I’ll chow it down and blow this town
Before I get obtuse